At some point in your youth, you went to an indoor roller rink and probably enjoyed it.
Although ridiculous now, many fond memories can be traced to them, regardless of graduation year. Whether of the Pac Man generation or Cruisin’ USA, the layout and vibe remained constant. Wall coverings included an eclectic collage of carpet and wood panels. Middle-aged DJs wore styles and facial hair a decade behind current trends. Strobe and black lights collaborated to set a mood that, when accented by the aroma of stale RC Cola and urine, nurtured young love in the form of prepubescent kissing and petting.
Rinks disappeared over the years, collateral damage of the digitized 21st century. Today kids can no longer release their sexual angst though sweaty-palmed slow skates and must now resort to sexting.
Or so I thought.
Rinks have a new lease on life with the revival of roller derby. The Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, started in 2004, has witnessed the sport grow from 30 leagues to almost 500 in North America and Western Europe. Our local league, the Steel City Derby Demons (SCDD), has three teams: Steel Hurtin’ (Varsity), B-Unit and Blitzburgh Bombers (Junior Varsity).
Steel Hurtin' warms up before the bout.
Romp n’ Roll hosts home bouts for SCDD, who brings more people through the doors than the building has likely seen since Achy Breaky Heart was on the charts. Although some fans still dress from that era, they comprise an amazing Pittsburgh subculture that can, both literally and figuratively, kick anyone’s ass in town.
I attended the bout on Saturday against Cincinnati, but shy from talking about specifics for fear that my derby naiveté will only mislead and confuse. B-Unit went out first, and it was not until the end of the second half, after reading the rules five times, that I understood how we won.
The Steel Hurtin’ main event was enough to shatter my elementary understanding of the sport. I found myself in awe on the edge of my folding seat, struggling to keep up with an even faster and more physical and strategic bout.
I had anticipated a larger rink, which would have spread out the athletes (and action) like auto racing, whose fanbase focuses more on the drink than sport. Expectations were shattered when I saw that a lap was only 66 meters. That’s a lot bodies in a small space, prioritizing elusiveness and strategy. One of our jammers, The Shocker, threw down moves that would have elicited a verbal reaction from any running backs coach. I might not fully grasp the sport, but can appreciate prime displays of athleticism in any venue. And that one, Ms. Shocker, she’s got it.
If you want to know what actually happened, read someone else’s account of the bout. My only input: you should go, at least once, just to see what it is all about. Check the schedule for upcoming events and don’t forget to wear your roller rink best.
We have been meaning to make it to one of these bouts for two years now. Great to hear about and be reminded that we really need to get out there.
You should definitely push roller derby to the top of your to-do list. You should also know that my inner Iowa boy enjoys the Sweet Ridge Sisters blog, especially the banner photo.